Thursday, January 2, 2014

Class of 2013

Happy 2014!  So far, ours is off to a very uneventful start, which given the alternative in a house full of wild men, is completely welcome.  2013 ended dramatically, with 12 half-written blog posts in my iPad that never came to fruition thanks to a series of interruptions and holiday celebrations.  So let's start fresh, with a wrap-up of 2013's superlatives, in no particular order, including a few stories you may not have heard.


Most Exciting Announcement - In November we revealed that we are expecting baby #3, which until recently when I began to feel movement and have hit the grace period of my second trimester, I had affectionately nicknamed "the unseen beast within that has ravaged my complexion and destroyed my stomach lining".  Isn't it catchy?  We're still very excited and only minimally concerned that the child will emerge as a rabid animal or even more fearsome, another energetic blond haired, blue-eyed boy.

 
Most Likely to Get Arrested - It seemed as though Graham lost all of his inhibitions this year, taking each and every opportunity to drop his pants when we weren't looking.  Three guesses as to what my resolution is for Graham this year?

  

Tastiest Treats (a.k.a. Why I Didn't Sleep in 2013) - I had the opportunity to make four fun cakes this past year for my nephews and my own boys, helping me to hone my decorating skills and my ability to function without sleep.  All jokes aside, I enjoyed making their days more special and the chance to get my hands dirty rather than constantly picking up others' messes.




 
Best Investment - While we were drying off sunning ourselves in Seattle last summer, our latest addition was being constructed in our backyard.  And like all other aspects of our lives, it wasn't easy.  The assemblers arrived several days late, behaved badly in our absence, and left with a large pile of lumber and plastic in our driveway.  Upon further inspection, the materials were revealed to be a second playset which the company seemed uninterested in retrieving, so a small donation to the foul-mouthed assembler left us with what we now refer to as "The Fortress".  With the boys now housebound thanks to laughable amounts of snow this winter, I can look back at the purchase with affection and serious confidence.

 
Most Likely to be King - Cael was asked to serve as the Homecoming Prince last October, giving the high school students in Joel's district a lesson in good looks and how to treat a lady.

 
Most Mysterious - In March, I awoke one day to a ridiculously swollen and bruised knee that I had not, to my knowledge, injured in any way.  It took a couple of weeks to return to normal, and the mystery remains unsolved to this day.  Where is Robert Stack when you need him?
 
 
Scariest Sale - Most recently in our revolving cycle of Airstream purchases, Joel sold off our 1980s Airstream motorhome to a special effects director from California, who flew out, picked up the silver beast and attempted to drive it back to the west coast.  Instead, the huge trip led to a series of new mechanical problems that, in an as-is (Craigslist) sale were not our responsibility but did cause us to receive several threatening emails demanding money for repairs.  By late June when it all blew over, we were grateful to have several weeks of radio silence and a large mountain range for protection.

 
Most Challenging - In our quest to have one more baby, we received our first positive test result in late July, and waited little time before sharing the news with our immediate family.  God had a different child in mind for us, however, and we lost that baby not long into the pregnancy.  We are happy to now be expecting our healthy baby in mid-June, and for Cael and Graham to take on the new role of being big brothers.


Hairiest Valentine - For Cael's preschool valentine party, he was asked to create a unique valentine that he made himself.  My son was unfortunately born to a type-A perfectionist, however, and I was unable to let him go through with his idea of painting live frogs pink and taping them to construction paper.  Instead, our hand-crafted mustaches were a hit and a good source of laughs through much of February.



Most Likely to Hit a Rock - I still maintain that I am a safe driver, but after sideswiping a concrete planter two years ago and driving straight over a decorative granite boulder this fall, I was forced to reevaluate my driving skills.  I came to the conclusion that all child and adult passengers are safe under my vehicular care.  But rocks and hard places?  Watch yourselves...

 
Biggest Milestones - Graham began preschool this year in his usual, quiet way, and Cael ascended to the ranks of Kindergartner with a few weeks of consecutive calls and emails home.  Some just take a bit more time to adjust, I'm guessing.  But judging by the ever present marker-written words on any shred of unused paper or tabletop (or wall), a fair amount of the actual learning is sinking in between the newly-acquired bad words.



Most Horrible Purchase - After hearing Joel mention that he'd heard of a funny new game available on Amazon, I jotted down the name and purchased "Cards Against Humanity" for one of Joel's Christmas gifts.  On the box is written, "A party game for horrible people", a statement that I didn't quite understand until we played the game with a group of friends and laughed and cried in horror at not only the shocking suggestions given by the game, but in shame for finding it funny in the first place.  If you're easily embarrassed, don't even go there.  But if you do, don't judge me.



Cutest Reader - Graham showed off his adorably cute and remarkable memorization reading skills with his favorite book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.


 

Strongest Craving - It was only a few weeks into my pregnancy before I started having cravings for certain foods, and about ten weeks before I knew, with absolute certainty, that I needed to eat a lobster tail.  Thoughts of lobster inundated my every waking moment.  No other foods held the same excitement.  So when my good husband drove us to Red Lobster, something special was going to happen.  And I've never felt less guilty about powering down so much seafood.  (We also managed to take a special video, too.)

 
Most Trying Trip - As a nice break for our family before returning to work and school, Joel and I packed up the boys and headed out of town for a night to spend some Christmas money and get away from our usual routine.  Instead, we battled dangerous weather at every turn, found nothing that we wanted to purchase for ourselves, and halfway through our return trip had to stop in a small town along the interstate to book a hotel room to avoid the wind and snow that had made driving nearly impossible.  The boys were exhilarated by the constant surprises and hotel pools, and we were relieved we hadn't blown that extra cash after all. 


So that's it!  There was so much more we did that I couldn't fit here, but I'm ready to put 2013 to rest and practice writing 2014.

I should have it mastered by mid-April.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for the loss of your little one, but wish you a happy and healthy baby this summer.

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  2. feels so good f---ing one his age

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    Replies
    1. Yes but love the feeling of their balls and cock in my mouth 👄

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  3. do it with my nephew

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  4. Graham has a hot little ass.

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Leave your own "ism". Cael and Graham double-dog dare you.