Knowing Where You Rank

"Mommy, how come you and Daddy get the big bedroom?"

"Because we are the Mommy and Daddy.  We bought the house, so we get the big room."

"But I think Graham and I should have a room with a bathroom."

"Why is that?"

"Because then when Graham unrolls a roll of toilet paper, he could roll it into our room and then we could roll ourselves up like mummies."

"Yeah, I'm definitely not going to give your the big room so that you can do that." 

"Or maybe so that we could fill the bathtub up with lots and lots of soap.  Like so much soap that it would flood the house again.  And there would be soap coming through the ceiling like when Bampa was here!"

"That would be awful.  Let's hope that never happens!"

"And how come you and Daddy have a big bed and I have a tiny bed?"

"Because we're grown ups, and you're still a small person."

"But I think I need a great big bed too, so that when Graham and I are mummies and we're covered in soap, we can wrestle on the big bed and I can throw him off like he's falling off a mountain."

"And what if he got hurt?"

"It wouldn't hurt.  You'd have to sleep on the floor, so you'd catch him before he hit the ground."

At least I know where I rank.