Insecticide

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Will you put this bug in my room?"

"Huh?" 

"There was this really naughty bug on the door.  And he was banging on the door and saying naughty things and stealing toys, so I put him in a time-out."

"You put a bug in a time-out?"

"Yep."

"Where is it?"

"Under the bucket."

Poor, yellow number nine.  I probably should have taken the opportunity to teach Cael about kindness, and the if-you're-nice-to-the-bug-it-will-be-nice-to-you principle, but something about this boxelder bug's incarceration struck me as funny, so I played along for a bit, knowing that the bug was probably safer under the bucket than exposed to the elements.  And more importantly, to Cael.



The game was weird and the premise kind of gross, but the silliness of it dragged the game on and on.  Even as I changed diapers and threw in a load of laundry, the bug was in prison.  As I kissed bumped foreheads and freed Oscar to pee in the frigid tundra of our backyard, the bug was being transferred to a different cell block.  And while I made lunch and cleaned dishes, there was an accident.

Now, I wasn't there to see it so I can't say for certain what happened.  But I think that a spider on a power trip attacked our poor boxelder bug with a shiv made from sharpened toothbrushes.  Or maybe a gang of burly beetles pushed him around while he was in the yard.  Who knows.

Either way, insects better beware.  Cael takes discipline really seriously, and if he catches you in the house, you'll be headed down the river. 

 Or down the toilet.