The Tale of Graham Thumb

When Cael was born, I tried to do everything right. I nursed him exclusively and waited the recommended amount of time before even attempting to introduce a pacifier. I swaddled him with textbook precision despite the fact that he kept us awake most of the night, every night. (Foreshadowing, anyone?) I counted down the days until he was exactly six months old before I fed him his first bite of solid food.

To make a long story short, I was a first time mom.

Then came Graham, the most easy-going baby one could hope to have.  He slept in our room with the lights on as we spoke to one another in full voices.  He played quietly and was happy to tag along wherever we chose to go.   And I got lax.  He didn't always get to sleep at his predetermined bedtime and sometimes a few days would pass between baths.  But the biggest mistake I was making was one I hadn't considered.

Earlier this week I took Graham in for his first dentist appointment. I know that three is the most common age to began dental checkups, but my history of being a complete and total wuss has led me to expose them early and therefore attempt to fend off the fear that paralyzed me in the dentist's chairs for years.

See, I'm not all that bad.

When Graham and I sat in the chair to have his teeth examined, he was afraid. For some reason he won't open his mouth very wide, a problem which has made brushing his teeth and these subsequent dental visits much more difficult for him. The crying, although frustrating, at least forced him to open his mouth and allowed our dentist to see my huge mistake.

"Does he suck his thumb?"

"Yeah.  He always has."

"Not anymore, he doesn't."

And our dentist, a very good personal friend, proceeded to tell me that Graham's thumb-sucking has already begun to warp his palate and that, if he continues, he will have serious bite issues and require thousands of dollars of orthodontia.

Oh, happy day.

I explained to him that Graham does most of his thumb-sucking during the night and I am not there to intercept this behavior.  We discussed the possibility of transitioning him from his thumb to an orthodontic pacifier, but I would really rather not introduce a pacifier at age two.  The other option is a contraption available on the internet that velcroes the child's arms to a firm board that keeps them straight as if attached to a splint.  Birthday present, maybe?

After receiving a cavity-free report, we left the dentist's office, and I was left to choose which option would be the lesser of the evils.  Careful consideration has led me to the following conclusion: I'm pretty much screwed.  There are three possible outcomes of this scenario, and none of them sound good.

1) Do nothing and plan to sink a great deal of money in expensive and painful orthodontic devices for my son.

2) Attempt to transition him to a pacifier and know that he'll likely still be sucking on it when he leaves for college.  Better than beer, I guess.

3) Purchase the Velcro contraption and set aside money now for Graham's future therapy.

I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do, but I feel like I can't win. Why does parenting involve so many lose-lose situations? I guess this is what I get for becoming a second-time mom. 

How much do dentures cost, anyway?